So Much Is Everlasting
by ladyofbree
Summary: When the pains of the past come to Frodo once more, Sam shares something with him he has been keeping secret since they were last in Rivendell with Bilbo.
1. So Much Is Everlasting

**__**

So Much Is Everlasting

The soft warm glow of the fire shone lightly upon Frodo's face as he slept in the study resting his head upon Bilbo's desk. His hand lay over the pages of his writing, smudged with the passing of his fingers as he moved through his sleep. Many months had since passed when he and Sam finally returned from Rivendell after their adventure came to its end. Frodo now drew himself away into the confines of the study where he wrote feverishly for hours on end within the pages of Bilbo's book about the events that had come to pass over the last year. A deep sigh passed by Frodo's lips and his eyes slowly opened as he looked to the fading fire at his side. His neck ached and his back had grown stiff from the long hours he had sat within the chair lost in peaceful sleep. Frodo stretched his arms out before him as he sat up arching his back against the chair. He sat in silence for a moment gathering all his papers that had fallen from the desk and onto the floor while he slept. As he sat them upon the desk a soft whisper came from the doorway and he turned to see Sam standing there with a gentle smile held on his lips.

"Good to see you awake Mr. Frodo." Sam replied softly. "You've been napping in that spot long before the sun ever fell." Sam then came into the room and knelt down before Frodo helping to gather the last few papers scattered upon the floor. Frodo sat in silence watching contently as Sam arranged the papers in his hands before reaching up to Frodo and holding them out before him. For a moment their eyes did not part but Sam blushed and turned his face away as Frodo's fingers swept along his own when he took the papers from his hands. 

"Thank you Sam." Frodo whispered setting the papers within his lap. "You are such a dear friend."

"No thanks are needed sir." Sam said as he stood to his feet. "Just doing my job is all. That's what I'm 'ere for." Sam smiled and then glided his hands along his shirt and trousers straightening out the wrinkles worn in from a long day of work. He then looked to Frodo as he sat before him, lost within his thoughts as he had been through the days past. A deep sigh fell past Sam's lips and he leaned towards Frodo placing his hands upon the arms of his chair. 

"Does you no good holding things inside." Sam replied softly leaning back to sit upon the stool that Frodo would often rest his feet on when he sat before the fire. Sam then drew his hands away from the chair setting them within his lap as he sat in silence before his master. Frodo sighed deeply drawing his hand to his chest as he took his gem that hung from his neck within his grasp. No words passed by his lips as he held Sam in a silent stare. He did not dare speak of what was truly on his mind. Sam seemed to grow concerned as Frodo's silent moment fell into minutes with not so much as a blink from his eyes. Sam reached out placing his hand upon Frodo's knee and he flinched seemingly waking from a dream.

"It's not like you Mr. Frodo being so quiet and all." Sam whispered. Frodo said nothing in return as a gentle sigh fell past Sam's lips. "There must be something I can do to help." Frodo looked to Sam with deep concentration. There was nothing he could do to help for what troubled him could not be driven away. Not even the hands of Elrond or the powers of Gandalf could heal this festering wound. Frodo then focused upon Sam's eyes. Their soft chestnut shade of brown stared back at him with a growing intensity. Frodo then noticed Sam's hands shaking within his lap, as he grew uneasy with Frodo's stare. Frodo seemed to look right through him as though he was not there. Again Frodo looked to Sam's hands as he began to fumble with his golden wedding band as it caught the last light of the fading fire. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes drawing his hand to his brow.

"Frodo?" Sam whispered with anxiety fearing that Frodo was slipping away. Frodo opened his eyes as his skin trembled hearing Sam's voice fall upon his ears. The face of his dear friend was before him, his eyes full of deepening concern. Frodo then felt a chill come over him and his began to shiver as he drew his hand up to his left shoulder.

"See there I got letting you catch a chill as the fire fades beside me." Sam replied looking to the fireplace. "I've been sitting here talking to myself so it seems letting my mind wander away from what it is I'm supposed to be doin." Sam then came up from the stool and knelt before the fire. He took some logs up off the floor and gently placed them on the flickering embers of the small fire within the hearth. Sam took some crumpled papers from the dusty corner of the room and threw them into the fireplace watching as they took light warming the fresh logs upon the fire. Sam waved his hand lightly fanning the fire until it began to burn brightly once again. He then drew his arm along his forehead wiping away the beads of sweat that had formed upon his brow. Sam's soft golden curls fell along his face as he turned back to Frodo with a sweet and gentle smile. 

"There you be Mr. Frodo." Sam said as he stood to his feet. "Quite a nice warm fire you've got going here now. It should keep you warm on this cold autumn night." 

"Warm." Frodo replied to himself with the faintest whisper. It wasn't the warmth of a fire he needed but the joy that had once filled his heart before his journey to Mordor. 

"That's right." Sam said as he placed his hand on Frodo's shoulder. "At least you're talking again though I wouldn't call one word a full conversation." Sam laughed as he patted Frodo's shoulder before sitting on the stool once again rubbing the back of his neck. Frodo's face grew saddened as he looked upon his dear friend's visage for the past year had worn him thin leaving his face a shadow of the joy and carefree happiness it once held. Though Sam tried in vain to hide all that was lost to him after leaving the Shire, Frodo knew that he too had a pain within his heart and it pained him even more knowing that he in part caused it. Frodo sighed deeply trying to pass the thought from his mind but it could not seem to draw its self away. 

"Well it's getting late." Sam said as he took his hand away from his neck. "I can't see myself keeping you awake any longer than I have trying to get you to open up. Maybe with the coming 'morrow you'll say something more." Sam then came up from the stool but Frodo grasped his hand before he could walk away. 

"Don't leave me Sam." Frodo said softly his eyes growing wide. Sam could say nothing as he stood before Frodo while his master held tightly onto his hand. 

"I am sorry if I have not been acting myself." Frodo whispered as Sam finally came to sit back down upon the stool. "It has been two years Sam." Frodo said touching his fingers to his left shoulder. "To this day to be exact since that night on the hill at Weathertop." Sam fell into silence. For it was true. Two years from this day all was dark in the dell on the road from Bree.

"The wound still pains me, even to this day." Frodo sighed looking to Sam's face as he turned to the door seemingly looking for a means of escape. Sam never did like to talk about that fateful evening for it only reminded him of the moments that passed him by as he watched his master fade before his eyes. Sam then closed his eyes and turned to Frodo taking in a deep breath before opening them once again. 

"The memory of that night even comes to haunt me now and again." Sam whispered with a sigh. "I can not lie and say it does not hurt me too but I try to press it from my mind. It only reminds me of what we had before we set out to get rid of that retched thing you once bore around your neck." Sam then brought his hands to his mouth realizing his words seemed harsh as Frodo closed his eyes shaking his head as he turned away from Sam.

"Oh dear master Frodo, I am so sorry. Sorry for everything I have said." Sam cried coming down from the stool falling to his knees before Frodo. 

"You should not be the one crying dear Sam." Frodo whispered looking down to Sam as tears fell from his eyes. "It is I who should be asking for your forgiveness since I am the one who asked you to go along. If it had not been for me your life would not have been changed."

"Nay." Sam said taking Frodo's hands into his. "Without you sir I would not be as strong as I am today. I reckon things could have been different if I had not gone along but I would not have it any other way."

"Oh Sam!" Frodo cried through his tears taking Sam into his arms. "Where would I be without a friend such as you."

"I don't wish to think it." Sam replied taking his hand to his face drying away his tears. 

"Nor do I." Frodo said through a smile as he helped Sam back to his feet. For a moment no words were spoken as they both stood in silence before catching each other in a tight embrace. Sam then came away and put his hand into his trouser pocket drawing out a well worn and crumpled piece of paper.

"What have you there?" Frodo asked as Sam slowly unfolded the paper. Sam said nothing but smiled as he read over what was written upon the page before looking up to Frodo his cheeks blushed red.

"I was never much on writing but you know I always like recitin' some of the lovely poems I hear." Sam replied softly looking over the paper once again. "Well I took a try at it quite a while back while we stayed in Rivendell with Bilbo before we came back home."

"Could I?" Frodo asked holding out his hand.

"You may." Sam said quietly. "I'm just sorry it's so wrinkled with my hands constantly fussing with it. I've always kept it close so others couldn't read what I wrote cause I never thought it to be good." Frodo then took the paper from Sam's trembling hand and held it out before him reading the words that had become smudged with Sam's nervous fingers.

__

For My Master

We began on a journey

Together you and I

On a quest unbeknown

Towards the mountain in the sky

Though peril and anguish

We met along the way

Together we stayed strong

To make it through the day

With you at my side

And I there near yours

I often dreamed at night

Of a far and distant shore

Now where it all started

We are here once again

In this house of healing

Both you and I my friend

For the end has finally come

Though I never wished to be

On this fateful journey

If you were not here with me

Frodo silently folded the paper within his hand and looked to Sam his face wet with tears. A soft smile was on his lips as he reached to Sam pulling him into his arms.

"Words can not say how much you mean to me dear Sam." Frodo whispered. "So many thanks are in order for you have touched a special place within my heart." Sam then came away from Frodo drying away the tears that had begun to fall along his cheeks. 

"I'm so glad you liked it." Sam said smiling as Frodo began to hand the paper back to him. He then pulled his hand away and turned back looking to Bilbo's book lying open upon the desk. 

"I have a better place for this." Frodo replied reaching over and placing Sam's poem between the pages of the book. Frodo then closed the cover and took the book up into his hands setting it on a small table nearby. He then put his hand to his left shoulder rubbing away the last bit of pain that still seemed present upon his skin. A gentle sigh passed by his lips and then he came to Sam setting his hand on his shoulder.

"I think now the time has come for both of us to rest." Frodo said quietly. "The 'morrow shall bring with it more happiness I am sure." Frodo then led Sam to the door taking the small golden knob into his hand as he made ready to close the door behind him. Sam went quietly down the hall and Frodo turned back towards the room looking to Bilbo's book as it caught the light of the moon from the open window on its deep red cover. A smile came to Frodo's face and then he drew the door closed knowing within his heart that no one could ever replace his dear friend Samwise Gamgee.


	2. Reflections

**__**

Reflections

  
  
  
The sun was just beginning to rise over the lands of the Shire as the front door to Bag End slowly drew open, filling the halls with a cool autumn breeze. The door closed silently and the sound of soft footsteps fell upon the floor as a shadow crept through the darkened halls. A faint amber glow shone along the walls as the figure came further down the hall stopping near the entrance to the den where a small fire burned within the hearth of the fireplace. There before the fire lost within peaceful sleep rested Sam sitting in his wooden rocking chair with a feather down quilt resting in his lap. His hands were folded across his chest and his curls of silver grey hung along his brow. A tender smile fell across the lips of the quiet visitor as they came into the den standing before Sam as he slept soundly within his chair. A gentle touch then woke Sam as he felt the passing of fingers along his cheek.   
  
"Elanor." Sam whispered as he opened his eyes.   
  
"Yes, it is I." Elanor said smiling as she left a kiss upon Sam's brow.   
  
"So many months have passed since I last seen you my dear." Sam replied drawing his quilt closer to his chest.   
  
"That they have." Elanor smiled drawing her hand along the soft down quilt. "You still keep it close at hand I see." She said softly.   
  
"Aye." Sam whispered as a faint sigh passed by his lips. "It was your mother's favorite." Sam then grew silent as he laid his hand over the small golden flowers that were stitched into the long faded deep blue fabric. His fingers traced along the shimmering threads remembering the day Rose had put them there shortly after the birth of Elanor. His eyes then began to tear and he closed them tightly turning away.   
  
"There is no need to hide from me." Elanor said as she drew her fingers along Sam's cheek to dry his fallen tears. "I have shed my own tears father and you should do the same. You have held your sorrow within long enough for I know you miss her most of all."   
  
"That I do." Sam sighed. "Though I have tried not to show it. I have wished to stay strong but I fear I have drowned my heart in all my sheltered tears."   
  
"No tears could ever drown a heart so loving as your own." Elanor replied with a gentle smile. Sam then reached out to Elanor drawing her into his arms within a tight embrace. Elanor then came away leaving a tender kiss upon his cheek as she took his hands into her own.   
  
"I wished to come and see you before you went away." Elanor said as she sat upon the stool near her father's chair.   
  
"Away?" Sam asked softly.   
  
"I know the time has come." Elanor whispered. "I can see it within your eyes. You have been longing for the sea."   
  
"The sea." Sam sighed looking out through the open window facing towards the western sky. Indeed the thought had come to his mind for his heart was filled with much sorrow that would never be lost while he stayed within the Shire. The time had indeed come for him to return to his beloved master Frodo.   
  
"Father." Elanor said softly drawing Sam's attention away from the window. He turned to her as she reached down to the floor picking up a large red leather bound book.   
  
"This is Bilbo and Frodo's book is it not?" Elanor replied setting the book within her lap. She then opened the cover and began reading over the spidery letters last scrawled by Bilbo's aging hand. Soon a more elegant stroke came to the paper with words written as smooth as the river flows. Then she came upon the letters of her father, written bold and strong though a few were misspelled.   
  
"It is." Sam said as he leaned forward in his chair. "It is almost finished, by my hand I can say." Sam replied looking over the pages as Elanor turned them aside. "Though the time will come when another hand will fall upon the pages when more tales need to be told." Elanor said nothing but a soft smile fell upon her face as she turned back another page reading on through the writings of her father. Sam felt a deep warmth fill his heart as he watched Elanor sitting before him lost within the story unfolding on the pages before her. She soon came to the last page that Sam had taken his hand to and she pulled the cover closed looking back at Sam.   
  
"Your tale is a marvel." Elanor replied. "Both yours and Frodo's but I have yet to read all that was written by Bilbo's hand. His letters are rather hard to read." Elanor said with a soft laugh. She then brought the book away from her lap making ready to set it back on the floor when a paper fell from within the pages landing near her feet. It was folded neatly but filled with many long worn creases and yellowed with old age. Elanor placed the book back into her lap and she reached down taking the paper up into her hand. Sam grew curious and he watched with eyes wide as Elanor began to carefully unfold the paper reading the words faded with the passing of time.   
  
"What have you there?" Sam asked as Elanor sat in silence before him. A smile then came across her lips and she turned to Sam her face wet with tears.   
  
"It is something written by your hand." Elanor said softly. "Though it seems this piece has slipped from your mind. I never remember you telling me of it." Elanor replied handing the paper to Sam. With a trembling hand he reached out taking the paper and bringing it close to read. Slowly he read the words to himself and the memory soon returned of the day that he came to Frodo in the study on the day his pain had returned from his past wound. He then thought of the paper held within his trouser pocket that he had kept since they were last in Rivendell before returning home. It was this very paper. The one that bore the words he had written for Frodo so many years before. It was his poem that he had written for his master.   
  
"All this time has passed and I had forgotten about this as it lay right under my nose." Sam whispered as he folded the paper in his hand. "Frodo had left it within the book saying that was the rightful place it should be." Sam sighed deeply and brought his hand close to his chest as he held tightly to the poem last touched by Frodo's hands.   
  
"You miss him too do you not?" Elanor replied setting her hand on Sam's knee.   
  
"Aye." Sam said quietly looking back out the window. "More so now than ever. His birthday is next month and on that day sixty years will have come to pass since I last seen his smiling face."   
  
"So many years." Elanor sighed as she looked down to the book still sitting upon her lap. She brought it up into her hands and held it close to her chest as she watched her father sit before her in silence while tears slowly fell along his face.   
  
"This is all you have left of him." Elanor said looking down to the Red Book resting in her arms.   
  
"That and the memories within my heart." Sam whispered turning back to Elanor. She then held the book out to Sam and he took it into his hands drawing it close. He then set it down into his lap and opened the cover placing his poem back inside.   
  
"Someday the story shall continue on." Sam said softly as he closed the cover drawing his hand along the book. "But for now my part has come to its end."   
  
"Has it?" Elanor replied.   
  
"Yes dear it has." Sam sighed as he sat the book on a small table nearby.   
  
"So what name have you decided upon for your tale?" Elanor whispered looking to the book as the fading fire shone upon its cover.   
  
"I have yet to say." Sam replied. "But I believe I shall leave it just as Frodo and Bilbo left it before their passing over the sea."   
  
"I could think of nothing better." Elanor said with a smile as she sat her hand over Sam's. He grasped her hand tightly and looked to the book setting his hand over the cover.   
  
"But what of you Elanor?" Sam said softly. "When it comes to you what name would you give to all that is written within by your own hand?" For a moment she was silent and then she took in a deep breath.   
  
"I think…" She began looking over to Sam as the sunlight began to fill the room. "I would simply call it my Memoirs of the Shire."


End file.
